UNACCEPTABLE

UNACCEPTABLE

I was helping a nonprofit immigration agency with Hindi- or Gujarati-speaking clients. One day I was asked to meet a lawyer and a client. I was introduced to a gentle-mannered young man, Salim.
With a faint smile, Salim greeted me and spoke in Hindi. He said, “Madam, will you tell this lady lawyer to help me to stay in this country to save my life?” My mind started to comment, ‘If you are not here legally, I cannot and will not help’. But since a pro bono lawyer was helping, I was prepared to hear him out.

Salim started his story.
“I am from a rich and well-respected family in a far away Muslim country. My problems started with my own mother and her side of the family when I was fifteen. They had noticed that I was always in boys’ company, especially one boy.  He and I were inseparable. I just felt that I was in love with him. People started talking and my cousins and other kids openly started teasing me.  The news spread rampantly in our small village. The first time I was called ‘gay’, I cried without understanding its full meaning. I just knew that it was demeaning.
“One day, I was called to the back room of our house, and my mother and her brother, my mamu, started asking questions about the rumors about me and Razak. I told them that he was just a friend but they did not believe a word I said. My mamu was a violent man and I was always afraid of him. For him, shooting somebody to teach a lesson was a very common thing. I was shaken up with fear and my mother and mamu kept on scaring me with different threats. The bottom line was, ‘This kind of behavior, boy to boy friendship, is absolutely unacceptable in our respectable family’. I was ordered to end my friendship with Razak immediately.
“My father was always very kind to me. He tried to convince me in no uncertain terms. He explained to me that my gay behavior would bring shame to our family. I cried like a little boy and assured him to try to be better.
“Similar rage was going on in Razak’s household.  We could not break it off but we became more discrete. I was torn inside, ‘Why am I like this? They all are ashamed of me’. I tried to be like other boys but teasing and put-downs did not stop.
“I was good in studies and graduated from high school with good grades.
My bigger test came when my mother said, ‘I will select a girl and you will marry her.’ I protested by giving many excuses like, ‘I want to go to college. I am too young to get married.’ But she said, ‘We know the real reason and we will convince you by any means.’ They wanted to prove in society that I was a straight, normal guy. The arguments and stern warnings by my mother and mamu turned into slapping and beating. If my father tried to intervene, my mother would order him to ‘Just keep out of our business. You have made him worthless.’
“I got admission to a city college not too far from my village and left my home without telling anyone except my father. My friend Razak also followed me, and we shared a place with some other students. My mother found out where I was from other students in our village and started sending messages to me to return home. My first year at the college was over. They used my father to bring me back home. My mother and mamu were again trying to force me to move back to join the family business and get married. I went on pleading them to leave me alone. They told me to live my life according to their rules or else.
“It was late one night. My father awakened me urgently, handed me money and told me to run away. He had overheard that, with my mother’s consent, my mamu was going to scare me with the gun and if I didn’t agree, he would not hesitate to get rid of me.  I called and told Razak what was going on. He said, ‘I will meet you at the station.’ We took the first train and headed for a far-away city. It was not easy to find our way in the strange new city.
“It took several months, but with a lot of financial help from my father, we rented a very modest apartment. We were happy to have each other to lean on. Our life seemed almost normal until that fateful afternoon.
“We had purchased tickets to go and see a hockey game that evening. We were so excited and felt like a couple of free birds. Early that afternoon I left our apartment to do some shopping. I saw Razak smiling and waving good-bye from the window. When I returned, to my horror, I saw a small crowd gathered near our apartment and among them there were some of Razak’s relatives.  I retreated as fast as I could before anyone could notice me. I was trembling inside. I had a premonition that I would never see Razak alive again.
Later, my father told me that in the village, Razaka’s death was explained as heart failure. If I would have been in the apartment that day, I would have been killed too.
“Now I was not left with any other choice but to run for my life. I made up my mind to go as far away as possible and disappear in a large city. The money I had, I used up to get there. I started doing whatever work possible to get some food. This world is blessed with some good and kind people who were generous enough to give me a space to sleep. At the same time I came to know some horrible, cruel people. The gang members gave me importance and small favors so I could be used, like many others, as their strong and blind instrument to oppress the weak and ignorant mass. I was systematically tied into the web and by the time I realized it, it was impossible to get out. My pleas for freedom were retorted; first with temptations like a university degree, then the promise of power, and later with threats. When I could not convince my soul to pick up a gun and kill any other human being, I escaped. But I got caught and was tortured for three days. But when there is a will, there is a way. I feel that I have traveled through tumultuous oceans to arrive in this country.
“I paid a very heavy price because nature made me different and I was not deemed acceptable to narrow-minded, ignorant people. I was longing to see my father one more time, but I heard through a friend that my father passed away two months ago.
“I cannot describe the feelings of hope because this lawyer lady believes in my life story and is willing to help me. I promise you all that I will never betray your trust.”

According to the lawyer, his case was worth fighting for, due to his entanglement with the gang members, who call themselves “a political party” in his country. If it would have been only his personal battle, he could not be eligible for asylum in America.

As per his story: When he was hiding in the large city and dirt poor, he accepted some favors from that scary but powerful group. They started treating him as if he was one of their own who was devoted to the cause. Salim went along until that day when five gang men came on their motorcycles and ordered him to hop on. He thought that they were going for some fun ride. Instead, they went to a crowded market and announced that, “We are here to teach a lesson of obedience to some idiots who did not respect our power.”
The shouting and screaming subsided when one of the gang members shot a person, point blank. Salim was frozen. That was the first time he had seen a murder in front of his eyes. The jovial gang members were telling Salim, “You can do this chore with your own gun next time.” That night, very clearly he realized that he did not belong there. He could not take life of other human being, never!
The next morning, he left his stuff except the important documents and went to his routine work. He snuck out and called his father to inform about the desperate situation. His father guided him to go to other city and promised him that one certain person will help him. At the railway station, in spite of his extreme caution, a party member spotted him and dragged him to a building under construction. The fourth floor was used as a torture cell of that party. He was badly beaten to find out why he was running away. He was cross examined with the assumption that he was defecting to join some other party.  They left me there to die. But I was not dead when they reappeared the second day. There was some more beating but they did not kill me. Salim realized that they wanted to use his death to show that some other gang had killed their party’s member. He was half dead with cruel beating and without food or water.         Soon after their third visit, Salim’s survival instinct motivated him to find any possible escape path. He started to look around, he noticed a hole prepared for the window air-condition unit.  He crawled out and landed in some ones home. He had bruises and his cloths were partially covered with blood. One lady saw him but kept quiet since in that neighborhood this sort of activities were not uncommon.  He went downstairs and came out of the house to go to a nearby hamaam, where men can groom themselves. He cleaned himself and requested the owner for the use his phone. The owner was sympathetic toward this helpless young man.  For next two days, he helped Salim so he could get out of that town. He embarked on the train, after it had left the platform, without a ticket.
He wanted to go away, far away from his country. His father had to sell the land to send him large sum of money. To sell land is considered very shame full in his country. His father was humiliated in his society. But any how he sent enough money for him. Salim told the travel agent to find a far away country where would be least likely to run into his countrymen and where he can go without immigration restrictions. Out of a few he chose to go to one South American country, Guatemala.
He was so naively ignorant that only he knew, how much he endured to reach his far away destination and survived. Every morning when he would wake up in a strange place, he used to touch his body to make sure that he was still alive.
Salim had said, “Where ever I lived, they just know and as soon I was recognized as a gay individual, some people showered me with favors so they can use me. But my heart was still sobbing for the death of my love, Razak.”
He worked for food and shelter. He came to know about the illegal immigrants and the bootleggers. After a few months in Guatemala, he did not see any future in selling incenses and cheap toys. One group of African girls and men had paid to a human smuggler and they needed one Spanish speaking person. Salim was encouraged by the group to go with them since he had learned to speak Spanish. He prepared for a long journey.
The final destination, America!
He had heard about America, but had no clue about their laws and regulations.
The group was taken first on a dinky boat at night time. Then they walked across the jungles of Columbia. Salim was bitten by some poisonous insect while walking, so he was taken to the emergency room at a hospital in Columbia. He would have died without the timely treatments. During that journey, the whole group had to face many times life or death situations. The group sneaked into The USA, via Panama. The details were recorded in the court documents.
He had seen death very closely several times in his young life. Now the justice system has to decide where he will go from here.
In this journey he is touched by so many human beings, which are all the same, but still so very vastly different.

Epilogue.
A note from the organization:
Dear volunteer, “–He won his case! Thank you so much for being part of that victory and for all your contributions to our clients and their cases!!!”
Unacceptable

Tell me papa why am I like this?
Ma was very proud and pleased, at my birth as a boy.
This mystic twist of unknown fate, ended up robbing her joy.

My secret spilled and called to quit, my all the reasons sound so lame,
Order was to choose her way, the way I am sure brought her shame

I was yanked and thrown out there, Punished and pushed, belong nowhere,
Helpless, hauled away from home, worn and torn my own genome.

Who am I, a worthless pawn? Or am I a flower wild?
My roots are cut, will I survive! You give me hope, my life revive.

———–
અસ્વીકાર્ય

“કહો અબ્બા! હું આવો કેમ?”
રાજકુંવર હું જન્મ્યો જ્યારે, મા મોસાળ દુલારો ત્યારે.
કુદરતની કોઈ અકળ કળા રે, ખેંચાયો પરવશ અણસારે.

ભ્રમર બન્યો પતંગિયો જ્યારે, અણગમતો હું બનીયો ત્યારે.
જેણે મુજને રોપ્યો ક્યારે, ઉધાડ ફેંકે રસ્તે ન્યારે.

સાવ અટૂલો મુંઝવણ ભારે, ભૂલ્યો રાહી પંથ અહારે.
અચરજ મારા અંતર દ્વારે, કોણ આપશે સહાય પ્યારે?
———-

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2 ટિપ્પણીઓ (+add yours?)

  1. SARYU PARIKH
    ઓક્ટોબર 07, 2012 @ 02:14:06

    પ્રજ્ઞાબેન, તમારા પ્રતિભાવ અને શુભેચ્છા બદલ ખુબ આભાર. સરયૂ

    Like

    જવાબ આપો

  2. pragnaju
    ઓક્ટોબર 06, 2012 @ 02:20:22

    સાવ અટૂલો મુંઝવણ ભારે, ભૂલ્યો રાહી પંથ અહારે.
    અચરજ મારા અંતર દ્વારે, કોણ આપશે સહાય પ્યારે?
    સરસ

    સલાહ આપવી., વ્હેલી દરમ્યાનગીરી., ગ્રહણશીલ પ્રશિક્ષણ.
    રહેવાના કૌશલ્ય પરિક્ષણો. વ્યાવસાયિક પ્રશિક્ષણો. આર્થિક પુનર્વસવાટ.
    સામજીક એકીકરણ. અંગે આપની સેવાઓમા પ્રભુના આશીસ રહે

    Like

    જવાબ આપો

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